Mental Suffering

I have been thinking lately about the immense pain that Jesus went through during His passion. I've been thinking a bit about His mental suffering, which i think, sometimes can be over looked.

One of His own friends betrayed Him, turned Him in for money, and kissed Him to tell them which one to take. One of His friends denied Him three times. In fact, nearly everyone in the city turned against Him. They spat on Him. They mocked Him. They made their dislike of Him known, very well. They dressed Him up in a ragged purple cloak, put a reed in His hand and a crown of thorns on His head. "Hail King of the Jews!" They cried, while spitting on Him and beating Him. 

11 of the 12 left Him, except for John, His beloved. 

Everyone in the world, except for Mary, has of will probably commit at least one sin during their life, choosing their own will over His ultimately good and Holy will.

Even one of the guys who was crucified with Him was rude, ink

Me and selfish towards Him. 

And That's just some of the mental anguish. I didn't even mention the physical suffering! 

I sometimes feel that my mental suffering is worse than my physical suffering. I feel that the betrayal and denial of friends, the mocking, the hatred, the spitting, the humility and utter abandonment of nearly everyone you hold dear, would be enough to make a person, well frankly, I don't know. I might just curl up in a ball and die right there. But Jesus didn't.

I think that sometimes it's hard to connect our mental suffering with the suffering that Jesus endured. When we think of the Passion, we usually go right to the stour going at the pillar, the crowning with thorns, and most of all, the Crucifixion. We think of the whips, the kicks, the Bruises and blood. We think of the beatings, the falling, the piercing of thorns and the nails. Which, don't get me wrong here, is ultimate, incredible, horrible, tormenting, worst-pain-you-could-ever-imagine, anguish. 

But i think maybe we forget the hidden pain sometimes. The utter abandonment. The betrayal. The denial. The hissing, roaring, jeering crowd crying out "Crucify Him! Crucify Him!" 

The fact that they would rather release a murderer than the Son of God. The mocking. The humility. The spitting. The-worst-mental-pain-you-could-ever-imagine, anguish. I think His Sacred Heart had already been pierced, with creation's hatred, before the lance even touched it. 

Suffering that we hold inside can, in my opinion, make our physical suffering worse. 

Ultimate physical suffering + Ultimate mental suffering = t

t= I don't think it's possible to imagine that level of suffering.